Different shades of Love

I think love is the key factor for this world. Love has its own mystery and illusions. It cannot be defined or the definition varies in every stage of life. Starting from our childhood before we die, we all have this question what is love! Seriously what is love? We love our parents, siblings, other relatives, friends, pets even a little plant in our garden. We fall in love every day via food, movie, place, dress, computer game or might be with the way we present ourselves to this beautiful world. Some people will disagree with me, they might claim it’s like or affection or a simple sympathy. Even then after some time we usually claim ‘ohh, I just loved it’. I would say it is an effect of love. I think the main components of love are trust, affection, respect, compassion, sympathy. These create the shades in love.

Many times we wonder aimlessly thinking about love. Whom to choose and who is important! Lot of time I found myself alone in a bench copying the class notes. In the next moment I’m starring on the names written in those desks. I kept my pencil moving over the names on and on, thought that much of love is allotted for me this time. Now I know, actually I was remembering the old time and loving those memories. I realise if the bench was not empty, how I was suppose to find out the amount of love was built in that time! Some time we say, ‘i don’t love you in this way, i was thinking in other way’. I must say Love is love, there is no this way or that way. But the amount of love might be different, do not confuse love with relationship. You can love a person when you do not have a relationship with him or her. All relationships are bounded by love but love is not bounded by the relationships. Now some people might come up saying ‘what about the relationship bonded by hatred’, well to hate a person even for a moment you have loved that person. When you do not care about the person neither you have a relationship or love. It’s not a crime, if love blinds you, you will run on and on. But as soon as you realise that you cannot frame this love in a relationship, please try to fool love! I know it’s kind of impossible. Then do not run after love with a guilt notion! Accept all these shades with whole heart, may be then you will be able to choose your own shade.

 We have tried to define even the colour of love. Red is the colour of love, I don’t know who made this! Those popular card company or Valentine’s Day! I always have this question why, why red! Not blue or green or black. It is simply red because our blood is red and with that magical touch of love our heart becomes more active. Then we actually turn to red. If you have to choose a colour for love, won’t you are going to choose the favourite colour of your loved ones. If they dislike red, are you going to appear in front of them in red? Well if you love red, then it can work in other way.  So love actually have different colours, with time and age this colour will have its own shade. The time and the events of our life force us to evolve and love actually changes its shade. If you have a smooth love life irrespective of friends, family or partner, then love with appear in bright shades in many colours. The ripples in between different phases of life will give a very challenging shade to love. That’s why ripples are important; they let you choose between the phases, but never ever give up on love.  Keep faith on love.   

In my school time I wrote,

L= lot of sorrow

O=Ocean of tear

V=Valley of death

E=End of life

With time this has changed and I’m noting down the changes with different phases of my life. 

The Distance

The distance in terms of road is always negligible,
if we have managed to travel the distance between hearts......
The distance is negligible always of road in terms,
the distance if we have travelled between hearts managed to.....
If between hearts, the distance we have travel managed to,
always negligible is the distance of road in terms....
The distance of road is always in terms negligible,
the distance managed to travel between hearts, if we have....
Road in terms is always negligible,
if the hearts travelled have managed the distance between distance of 'we'......
Negligible road,
travelled in the distance between distance,
the hearts of we, have managed always the term 'if'.....
Travelled, managed, the distance, the road,
have we always neglected the term 'if'!
the distance in between hearts!

                                                                   











                                                                          --------Swatilekha ghosh
                                                                                         (2/3/13)

Inspired by : "আমার মনে নেই " - Anupam Roy and "830 Fireplace Road" - John Yau

The fire

The smell of flames,
made me restless...........
An invisible source,
like fighting with a ghost....
The fire was inside me,
it was burning me everyday,
let it burn me only to purify.....
As I believe,
I deserve to be burnt....
Hope when the fire will die away,
it will take away my pain....
There is always a hope at the end.

                                                       ---- Swatilekha Ghosh  
                                                             (9th December, 2012)

Disease or cure!!!!!!!!!

         Again i’m back after 6month...well I can say that I was busy with my work..finishing up experiments, as my PhD time was finishing......etc etc etc....main reason is I didn’t had a topic on my mind or I had lost the inspiration for writing. This topic is based on one of my friend’s FB status ‘Madness is not a disease; it's a cure to feel free’. So today I will talk about madness and it should be or not considered as disease or cure.

         Before stating anything we need to discuss what is considered as ‘madness’. This is the biggest question in everyone’s mind; I must agree it is a relative parameter. What I consider as madness may not be to you, it can be very normal attitude. Lets start with some example: once I saw one of my neighbour ran away with her lover, as their family was not happy in their happiness, as usual the girl was getting married to other person. So her disappearance was not crazy, but her father’s act was definitely crazy! After she left, her father was about to kill the couple and himself!!! Well this incident didn’t take place but I thought the father was crazy. Then there was a guys in our school, very talented, he ranked within 20 in his board exam within state. Then instead of becoming a doctor/engineer he studied literature. I can still remember, most people in the school said ‘he has lost his mind’.  I had a friend who always gives up one of the favourite dish, to score well in the exam or writing letters with blood to prove love....I thought it was madness. May be all these events are normal for others but to me was crazy act. So madness should be considered as disease or not it is arguable. If someone’s madness hurts others then its a disease, otherwise what’s wrong! it’s the person’s choice. Its free world everyone can act according to their wish. But if your action hurts other, then please stop the madness. It can be cure to feel free! I would say if your action give you happiness then just act accordingly, don’t think its a cure. According to me to feel free you don’t need a cure. You need a cure when you have a disease, why a normal person is going take pills for insomnia or depression.

          I love to write poems and stories after being a PhD student in electrochemistry & materials. I wrote a letter to my best friend to wish him happy birthday after two years (when we didn’t have any contacts), & everyone thought, such a mad girl! I love working odd hours in lab, love to swing, love to cry in my favourite heroin’s sadness; love to walk 4miles every day...if that identify me as a mad one! Then.....well everyone’s action is unique, that make them individual person. That can be freedom to them, disease to others..........According to me Madness is not a disease and there is no cure to feel free.

Heroes & Villains Vs. Common man

Well I’m back with my blog after 2month, as I can’t find a suitable topic to write about. Now I have few more topics in my mind so blogs are in its way in the coming weeks.

           As I wrote in FB ‘Heroes & Villains are created by us, its hard to be a common man’ & this time the blog is all about them, the heroes, the villains and obviously the common man. Again this topic is also inspired by 2 songs, Nachiketa’s  ‘ it’s a game’ and Anjan Dutta’s  ‘ ami onnyo keu noi ami sobai’ it means, ‘I’m not special, I’m everyone’. I liked those songs so much that I started to write and I must say it will take such a huge will power to become everyone and bare the responsibility, consequences. Why? That’s I’m writing now.

           Let’s start with the Common man, whom you think to be a common man! We, who always complain about their life, fate, country, weather etc etc. Why we are complaining because we can not bare the truth that rest of our time, we will be common man. But it’s not easy to be a common man or everyone! To be a common man, you have to think, talk, walk, dream, wish, fear like everyone.  Then we all want to be a little different, superior than others, but end of the day we all remain the same, the common man. So if you really think that you are superior to other then you are not a common man any more, you may not know, but a hero of someone’s life and your every action counts. 

           As a common man we have lot of power, to construct something or destruct something, we make heroes, we make villains, we can show our happiness, anger, sorrow. I know everyone is surprised now, if the common man can do all these things then what remained for the heroes and the villains. Well for them, we the common man decide, what they should have, they have their thought, talk, walk, dream, wish, fear according to our expectation, as we create their superiority and inferiority according to our wish. Don’t agree!!! I will give you some example.

           Our heroes, the great actors, singers, poets or cricket players etc, the superstars of our heart, how long did we take to made them our hero! Had we ever thought that they want to be our hero or not! Now everyone will think what an awful question, obviously they love our attention. Well when they do great things make us proud, we show our love & faith on them and when they failed to reach our expectation, we made those heroes to villains. One bad score in a game, one bad performance made them a villain by us, but never thought about their expectation. Well we don’t need to because we are the common man.

           Some heroes like the scientists, Jesus Christ & others always remain as a hero, after all the ups & down. For the hero’s they never give up on the common man, they had the faith on the common man power and they always succeed to convey their message to the common man. As a common man, we have given the power of responsibility and to face the consequences, whether it is good or bad.   

           Let’s revisit the actions of the biggest villain of history, the greatest betrayer Mirzafor or the villain from epic the demon Ravan. Ravan was just trying to do a justice about the humiliation with his sister, may be his way was wrong, but the cause was not. For Mirzafor, he was just trying taking revenge, he never knew that his betray will cause a terror not only to Bengal also the whole India. Again his way was wrong not the cause. Then they never thought that their one action will keep them in history forever. May be they had good actions too, but the common man had already marked them as villains, why not! The innocent common man had to face the consequences of slavery for years. So it is hard to be common man.

           All the heroes & villains are in this time for a cause to the common man, but some time the common man also forgets that the heroes & villains were common man once. They also have the pain, joy, regret, anger like all the common man, so they are not going to act according to the expectation all the time.  

Tragic ending vs. Happily ever after

Once again my topic is about love or complication of love. This writing is all about ending of a love story, though I believe true love never ends. The persons involve in the love story dies or fade away but their love always remain with us. ‘Us’ means who have witness the love in many different ways. So this time the topic is about the love stories which have tragic ending or ends with happily ever after. According to my view, we remember those stories most which ends in pain, because somehow we relate our emotions with the motion of that story. Well lot of people will disagree with me; yes everyone has their own view point.

                      Recently I was addicted by the tv series ‘Buffy the vampire slayer’, ‘Angel’, I have watched the ‘buffy-angel’ scenes so many times.  The love portrayed there was in its purest form and yes the love story ends painfully and I liked the story a lot. This tv series was telly casted around the years of 1997-2000 and I’m watching it at 2011. If a love story can influence the viewer after 10yrs from its end time, then I need to look for the magic strings inside the story line. Then I took example of some famous or all time favourite love stories like,  Romio-Juliyet, Laila-Majnu, Rhadha-Shyam,Heer-Ranjha,  Shajahan-Mumtaj, Ram-Sita and many others.  We all love these love stories, we always give example of the love they shared and according to my view the tragic ending make the love so special to our heart that sometime we worship their love. Their devotion, sacrifice, loyalty for each other made them immortal and the pain they went through touched our heart.

           Now if I look for the love stories with happily ever after, then I find only fairy tale, where the prince rescue the princess or a very common girl and they live happily ever after. But we never came to know what happen after that happy happy ending, did they really stay happily ever after! Or it is just a phrase, there is nothing called happily ever after.  May be the true magic of love which comes with pain just fade away in the illusion of happiness.  Even in real life, the love stories around us, we always remember or talk about those stories which ended in pain. How many love stories with happily ever after we give example to others or remember after a long time!

                   So I would like to say love cannot be seen or touched.  It comes beyond the risk of five senses from the deep feeling of the heart.  Love does not have boundaries or rule, but once its magical touch in a moment change everything.  For one moment of love its worth to risk everything but at the end love will burn and leave.

A drop of rain is always precious in a desert or a glint of sunshine in a never ending dark night! So in a ‘tragic ending’ we can witness the glint, in ‘happily ever after’ the magic just fade away.  

Black Friday: Negative Energies

Well this is not about the movie or physics; this is all about my recent 9day stay in hospital. As from the title it is evident, that I didn’t like the stay at all.  I will describe the whole scenario here.

The black Friday: 15^th April (for Bengal Poila Boisakh)

       Just another sunny day, starting for university at 9.30am.......a bit late, as making some ‘cholar dal’ and choosing some song to sing, for the poila boisakh celebration in the evening at my supervisor’s place, same way in my bicycle, same speed, same road crossing etc. Everything was same until I reached near to the medical school of university.

Me: oh this man again smoking in the bike road crossing, should I ring the bell, o forget.....I took crazy turn here before..............then.....   

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Someone call the 911, she need an ambulance......where u got hurt? Do u want to drink some water?.......Ok cancel the ambulance she is standing up, we think u need a doctor, we can walk you until the minor injury section, can you walk?.............it seems we shouldn’t cancel the ambulance...we will chain your bike here, its medical school bike parking zone.....it’s a long way to the minor injury section, you are fine!!!!!!!!...............’

Minor injury section: ‘this lady got hurt by bike handle in the abdomen, when the bike skite nearby......bring a wheelchair, she need to go to the major injury section.................’

        Then the story of my life didnot remains the same anymore, you will find out as you read whole section. The pain in my body just disappeared with pain killer, but later the CT scan results showed major injury in liver and I was in the verge of surgery for my liver split and about to lose half of my liver.  I never knew the injury was so serious at 1^st day so when the doctors looked tensed, I thought what a drama! Once I made mind to run away from the hospital too, but everything doesn’t happens according to your wish!  In a day everything was happening so fast, I thought it must be a dream! Later from major injury section I got transferred to a ward for 24hrs observation and in the night, they transferred me to the other hospital, where they have liver specialist.  In the new hospital the doctors suggested at least 7days bed rest & redo the CT scan to see how much it healed and it’s still in danger zone or not.  The doctors were tensed about my liver condition and I was thinking, now my 5 working days are gone, how much drama!

        I was very closely monitored by the hospital staffs for next 48hrs, in the very next day I got very high fever. This fever made me weak, but I still didn’t take my injury seriously. I was tired with their concern and needle torture. After 4days one of the doctors showed me my CT scan to make me realize what a damage I did to myself and how much caring it needs to be back in normal life.  

         Yes staying in a hospital for 9days is a nightmare, when you feel absolutely fine. I realize there, that how much I love my normal life, which sometime seems to be boring to myself. But nothing can be comparable with a normal body without any pain, physically or mentally.  As the days were passing by in the hospital I felt like my positive energies are dropping. It is not because of the scary feeling inside me, it’s the scare in the other patient eyes, doctors and stuffs worry for everyone. So being a part of human caring required very strong mental ability, the pain and suffering in all corners of the hospital give rise to the negative energies and only their positive energy bring the sweetness from bitterness.  It is not only about the individual pain in the body but also of the mind.  It’s your mind which is absorbing others pain and the feeling which hurt you most is the others suffering. It’s like someone is punishing you indirectly and it can be worse memorable experience ever.