Disease or cure!!!!!!!!!

         Again i’m back after 6month...well I can say that I was busy with my work..finishing up experiments, as my PhD time was finishing......etc etc etc....main reason is I didn’t had a topic on my mind or I had lost the inspiration for writing. This topic is based on one of my friend’s FB status ‘Madness is not a disease; it's a cure to feel free’. So today I will talk about madness and it should be or not considered as disease or cure.

         Before stating anything we need to discuss what is considered as ‘madness’. This is the biggest question in everyone’s mind; I must agree it is a relative parameter. What I consider as madness may not be to you, it can be very normal attitude. Lets start with some example: once I saw one of my neighbour ran away with her lover, as their family was not happy in their happiness, as usual the girl was getting married to other person. So her disappearance was not crazy, but her father’s act was definitely crazy! After she left, her father was about to kill the couple and himself!!! Well this incident didn’t take place but I thought the father was crazy. Then there was a guys in our school, very talented, he ranked within 20 in his board exam within state. Then instead of becoming a doctor/engineer he studied literature. I can still remember, most people in the school said ‘he has lost his mind’.  I had a friend who always gives up one of the favourite dish, to score well in the exam or writing letters with blood to prove love....I thought it was madness. May be all these events are normal for others but to me was crazy act. So madness should be considered as disease or not it is arguable. If someone’s madness hurts others then its a disease, otherwise what’s wrong! it’s the person’s choice. Its free world everyone can act according to their wish. But if your action hurts other, then please stop the madness. It can be cure to feel free! I would say if your action give you happiness then just act accordingly, don’t think its a cure. According to me to feel free you don’t need a cure. You need a cure when you have a disease, why a normal person is going take pills for insomnia or depression.

          I love to write poems and stories after being a PhD student in electrochemistry & materials. I wrote a letter to my best friend to wish him happy birthday after two years (when we didn’t have any contacts), & everyone thought, such a mad girl! I love working odd hours in lab, love to swing, love to cry in my favourite heroin’s sadness; love to walk 4miles every day...if that identify me as a mad one! Then.....well everyone’s action is unique, that make them individual person. That can be freedom to them, disease to others..........According to me Madness is not a disease and there is no cure to feel free.

Heroes & Villains Vs. Common man

Well I’m back with my blog after 2month, as I can’t find a suitable topic to write about. Now I have few more topics in my mind so blogs are in its way in the coming weeks.

           As I wrote in FB ‘Heroes & Villains are created by us, its hard to be a common man’ & this time the blog is all about them, the heroes, the villains and obviously the common man. Again this topic is also inspired by 2 songs, Nachiketa’s  ‘ it’s a game’ and Anjan Dutta’s  ‘ ami onnyo keu noi ami sobai’ it means, ‘I’m not special, I’m everyone’. I liked those songs so much that I started to write and I must say it will take such a huge will power to become everyone and bare the responsibility, consequences. Why? That’s I’m writing now.

           Let’s start with the Common man, whom you think to be a common man! We, who always complain about their life, fate, country, weather etc etc. Why we are complaining because we can not bare the truth that rest of our time, we will be common man. But it’s not easy to be a common man or everyone! To be a common man, you have to think, talk, walk, dream, wish, fear like everyone.  Then we all want to be a little different, superior than others, but end of the day we all remain the same, the common man. So if you really think that you are superior to other then you are not a common man any more, you may not know, but a hero of someone’s life and your every action counts. 

           As a common man we have lot of power, to construct something or destruct something, we make heroes, we make villains, we can show our happiness, anger, sorrow. I know everyone is surprised now, if the common man can do all these things then what remained for the heroes and the villains. Well for them, we the common man decide, what they should have, they have their thought, talk, walk, dream, wish, fear according to our expectation, as we create their superiority and inferiority according to our wish. Don’t agree!!! I will give you some example.

           Our heroes, the great actors, singers, poets or cricket players etc, the superstars of our heart, how long did we take to made them our hero! Had we ever thought that they want to be our hero or not! Now everyone will think what an awful question, obviously they love our attention. Well when they do great things make us proud, we show our love & faith on them and when they failed to reach our expectation, we made those heroes to villains. One bad score in a game, one bad performance made them a villain by us, but never thought about their expectation. Well we don’t need to because we are the common man.

           Some heroes like the scientists, Jesus Christ & others always remain as a hero, after all the ups & down. For the hero’s they never give up on the common man, they had the faith on the common man power and they always succeed to convey their message to the common man. As a common man, we have given the power of responsibility and to face the consequences, whether it is good or bad.   

           Let’s revisit the actions of the biggest villain of history, the greatest betrayer Mirzafor or the villain from epic the demon Ravan. Ravan was just trying to do a justice about the humiliation with his sister, may be his way was wrong, but the cause was not. For Mirzafor, he was just trying taking revenge, he never knew that his betray will cause a terror not only to Bengal also the whole India. Again his way was wrong not the cause. Then they never thought that their one action will keep them in history forever. May be they had good actions too, but the common man had already marked them as villains, why not! The innocent common man had to face the consequences of slavery for years. So it is hard to be common man.

           All the heroes & villains are in this time for a cause to the common man, but some time the common man also forgets that the heroes & villains were common man once. They also have the pain, joy, regret, anger like all the common man, so they are not going to act according to the expectation all the time.  

Tragic ending vs. Happily ever after

Once again my topic is about love or complication of love. This writing is all about ending of a love story, though I believe true love never ends. The persons involve in the love story dies or fade away but their love always remain with us. ‘Us’ means who have witness the love in many different ways. So this time the topic is about the love stories which have tragic ending or ends with happily ever after. According to my view, we remember those stories most which ends in pain, because somehow we relate our emotions with the motion of that story. Well lot of people will disagree with me; yes everyone has their own view point.

                      Recently I was addicted by the tv series ‘Buffy the vampire slayer’, ‘Angel’, I have watched the ‘buffy-angel’ scenes so many times.  The love portrayed there was in its purest form and yes the love story ends painfully and I liked the story a lot. This tv series was telly casted around the years of 1997-2000 and I’m watching it at 2011. If a love story can influence the viewer after 10yrs from its end time, then I need to look for the magic strings inside the story line. Then I took example of some famous or all time favourite love stories like,  Romio-Juliyet, Laila-Majnu, Rhadha-Shyam,Heer-Ranjha,  Shajahan-Mumtaj, Ram-Sita and many others.  We all love these love stories, we always give example of the love they shared and according to my view the tragic ending make the love so special to our heart that sometime we worship their love. Their devotion, sacrifice, loyalty for each other made them immortal and the pain they went through touched our heart.

           Now if I look for the love stories with happily ever after, then I find only fairy tale, where the prince rescue the princess or a very common girl and they live happily ever after. But we never came to know what happen after that happy happy ending, did they really stay happily ever after! Or it is just a phrase, there is nothing called happily ever after.  May be the true magic of love which comes with pain just fade away in the illusion of happiness.  Even in real life, the love stories around us, we always remember or talk about those stories which ended in pain. How many love stories with happily ever after we give example to others or remember after a long time!

                   So I would like to say love cannot be seen or touched.  It comes beyond the risk of five senses from the deep feeling of the heart.  Love does not have boundaries or rule, but once its magical touch in a moment change everything.  For one moment of love its worth to risk everything but at the end love will burn and leave.

A drop of rain is always precious in a desert or a glint of sunshine in a never ending dark night! So in a ‘tragic ending’ we can witness the glint, in ‘happily ever after’ the magic just fade away.  

Black Friday: Negative Energies

Well this is not about the movie or physics; this is all about my recent 9day stay in hospital. As from the title it is evident, that I didn’t like the stay at all.  I will describe the whole scenario here.

The black Friday: 15^th April (for Bengal Poila Boisakh)

       Just another sunny day, starting for university at 9.30am.......a bit late, as making some ‘cholar dal’ and choosing some song to sing, for the poila boisakh celebration in the evening at my supervisor’s place, same way in my bicycle, same speed, same road crossing etc. Everything was same until I reached near to the medical school of university.

Me: oh this man again smoking in the bike road crossing, should I ring the bell, o forget.....I took crazy turn here before..............then.....   

BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Someone call the 911, she need an ambulance......where u got hurt? Do u want to drink some water?.......Ok cancel the ambulance she is standing up, we think u need a doctor, we can walk you until the minor injury section, can you walk?.............it seems we shouldn’t cancel the ambulance...we will chain your bike here, its medical school bike parking zone.....it’s a long way to the minor injury section, you are fine!!!!!!!!...............’

Minor injury section: ‘this lady got hurt by bike handle in the abdomen, when the bike skite nearby......bring a wheelchair, she need to go to the major injury section.................’

        Then the story of my life didnot remains the same anymore, you will find out as you read whole section. The pain in my body just disappeared with pain killer, but later the CT scan results showed major injury in liver and I was in the verge of surgery for my liver split and about to lose half of my liver.  I never knew the injury was so serious at 1^st day so when the doctors looked tensed, I thought what a drama! Once I made mind to run away from the hospital too, but everything doesn’t happens according to your wish!  In a day everything was happening so fast, I thought it must be a dream! Later from major injury section I got transferred to a ward for 24hrs observation and in the night, they transferred me to the other hospital, where they have liver specialist.  In the new hospital the doctors suggested at least 7days bed rest & redo the CT scan to see how much it healed and it’s still in danger zone or not.  The doctors were tensed about my liver condition and I was thinking, now my 5 working days are gone, how much drama!

        I was very closely monitored by the hospital staffs for next 48hrs, in the very next day I got very high fever. This fever made me weak, but I still didn’t take my injury seriously. I was tired with their concern and needle torture. After 4days one of the doctors showed me my CT scan to make me realize what a damage I did to myself and how much caring it needs to be back in normal life.  

         Yes staying in a hospital for 9days is a nightmare, when you feel absolutely fine. I realize there, that how much I love my normal life, which sometime seems to be boring to myself. But nothing can be comparable with a normal body without any pain, physically or mentally.  As the days were passing by in the hospital I felt like my positive energies are dropping. It is not because of the scary feeling inside me, it’s the scare in the other patient eyes, doctors and stuffs worry for everyone. So being a part of human caring required very strong mental ability, the pain and suffering in all corners of the hospital give rise to the negative energies and only their positive energy bring the sweetness from bitterness.  It is not only about the individual pain in the body but also of the mind.  It’s your mind which is absorbing others pain and the feeling which hurt you most is the others suffering. It’s like someone is punishing you indirectly and it can be worse memorable experience ever. 

Forgive to Forget!!!!!!!!!

           Firstly I must admit this topic is inspired by one of friend’s FB status update. The update was ‘Easier to Forgive….Difficult to Forget’ and there was lot of agreement and disagreement with this statement. This statement reminded me some of the past incident of my life and I came up with this idea, lets write on this topic. According to some people, forgiveness make you a great person but you should remember the incident so you don’t walk through that path again and others think then u haven’t forgave yet. Here I must say, sometime we treat ‘let it go’ as ‘forgiveness’, & we never forget the sin and the person involve in the sin. If we think the incident was not a sin then we just have to let it go, there is no need of forgiveness.

           Once I asked my father ‘have you forgave him’, the obvious question was ‘who?’. I said ‘the man cheated you with your first savings’. He smiled at me & told me ‘if I have failed to forgive him, then I would never trust anyone else & we are not poor today’. Yes I agree he must have forgiven him but never forgot the incident, this memory he will carry lifelong, and some incident you can’t forget.

           I had a friend or I must say the person is still one of my good friend. Every time we meet, we chat and fight about my friend’s disappearance after the previous meet and no information about the incidents took place in our lives. Every time I think next time if I see the person in the road I will never talk back or I would never answer the email. But after all these years I realised I would never forget the person after all those act and now a days when my mom asks about that friend, I usually reply, well the friend would appear from some of this empty space. Then there would be an emotional drama and we will talk normally again, after some time we will not be in touch again. So sometime you have to let it go and may be you don’t want to forget the incident or the person.      

           Then there is another incident, I had a very close friend. Who actually help me a lot to overcome my difficulties, understand me the most and be there even when I haven’t ask for the help. I considered the person as my true friend and I had this believe whenever I would need the help most, the person would appear as an angel. But in the trouble time, the whole situation was reverse. My friend was the first person who left me in my trouble time and never came back. With time, i forgot the incident, but if you ask me about the forgiveness, well some acts never reach the level of forgiveness. This time is was easily forgotten but never forgiven.

           This is my idea about forgive and forget, it will vary from person to person. Some time we don’t want to forget and we can’t forgive but in both case someone hurt our feelings and trust.   

Crush, Infatuation and Obsession

This time the topic is related to LOVE, as it is the end of the ‘love month’.  The month February is the month of roses, teddy bears, chocolates, promises, proposes and obviously loves. February reminds us about Valentines Day, a day to show your love to the people belong to your world and miss them little more than other days. I think that’s why February comes with 28 days to end this crazy month soon. In leap year the craziness last longer for another day! So this time I picked out some words, Crush, Infatuation and Obsession, not the synonyms of love (must be noted).

           According to my dictionary, crush means hit or damage some property, actually which is true. In teenage it happens to everyone, a sudden like or dream about one or many person. But after some time, the dream changes and shapes differently, so actually it is a sweet damage. Here I must mention, it doesn’t happen only in teenage, it happen in other ages too and also need to note it is normal for human being. That why our favourite actor, actress, book, movie, serial, drama, writer, director, food changes with time or we have list of them (at least I have).

           Then the question is how infatuation is different than crush (even I’m little confused over here). In other word if ‘infatuation’ can be split as ‘in fat notion’. When crush last longer it turns to infatuation. Whenever there is bigger event in life than the previous the infatuation ends. After long time when you think about your crush, the memories make you smile but in case of infatuation it makes you angry (at least for me). It’s better for every one to leave the state of infatuation state as soon they realize.     

           Lastly obsession, I think it is abnormality of human mind. The obsession involving the person, give rise to insecurity, fear which is very dangerous for both parties. The person in obsession can destroy the main rules of love and turns to the most negative person, which is not expected from a person in love. It is a say that ‘everything is fair in love’, but how far you can go to achieve your love without hurting anyone even not yourself. This ‘say’ some time considered differently and finally obsession dominates and rules everything and destroys the pure love.

           Love teaches to respect, to forgive, to sacrifice, to be determined and broad-minded. Love comes with pains and tears, it’s not the end, it’s the destiny.

Saraswati puja or Valentine’s Day for Bengal

I think everyone is confused from the above title, how can be Valentine’s Day be correlated with Saraswati puja! Some people may think I am making fun of both the special days, but keep reading you will find the relation by the end of this writing. Saraswati puja, it is the worship of goddess Saraswati. In India Saraswati is the goddess of learning and music. Now i think everyone is trying to find the connection with Valentine’s Day.  How can be goddess of learning and music is related to love!

               According to my knowledge Saraswati puja day was the day for unlimited freedom.  This day my mom will not ask me where i’m going and with whom and most importantly when i will be back to house. Moreover the day of Saraswati puja and day after the puja day i am officially in holiday from studing!  So it was the day for unlimited hanging out with friends in own school, other schools and also outside the school. This unlimited fun starts before Saraswati puja like inviting other schools for puja, then decoration of school, coaching center. This fun part was absent in my college days, as we didn’t have saraswati puja in college or even it is there i never went over there. Even in my college days i use to go to school and coaching center and most surprisingly all our school friends and teachers use to know about this unofficial reunion date. No one has invited us, there is no contact between the friends during the year, but certainly we all found our friends in this day.

             The fun of Saraswati puja doesn’t ends here, as it is a festive day all the young girls and boys dressed very beautifully for the occasion. All the girls wear sari (traditional Indian cloth) and boys also in panjabi or kurti (traditional Indian cloth). So all the young people of various age look totally different, i must say very beautiful with all these dresses, jewelleries, perfumes etc. If you go to Kolkata during this day, i can assure that you would say ‘o the city look more colourful and beautiful than any other time’.  Most amazingly only this day there is no barrier between the boys school and girls school, and mostly all the boys are infront or inside the girls school! Also lot of boys notice all those girls in this day, whom they never notice in the whole year. It is the beauty of this special day or the weather of Kolkata. Now you know why i was calling it as Valentine ’s Day for Bengal!

         During my long stay in UK, twice in a year i miss Kolkata most, once during Durga puja and once during Saraswati puja. I really miss those days. Choosing mom’s sari, then mom’s warning about the sari safety. Then keeping track on my friend’s information as they want to disappear with someone, so i need to manage (as their parents will know they are with me!) etc. Also during decoration time gossiping, dancing, singing, painting through the night before and in the very next morning running for puja arrangement and then the priest’s sought at me as i did something wrong in the puja thali like every year.  For me it never became Valentine’s Day, but from the eyes of my friends, cousins it was more Vday than puja day. The love blooms everywhere, the festive season starts in Bengal with this puja in the spring, more will come in the coming months, and the perfect love rose will be ready by Durga puja!