Happiness: the biggest relative parameter of life

           I should write at the beginning, this topic is inspired by two songs. One of them is from Satyajit Ray’s popular movie ‘Gupi gayen Bagha bayen’, ‘Ek je chilo raja, tar bhari dukho’. I think all of us from Bengal know this song and the other is from Rabindranath Tagor’s ‘Mayar Khela’. The first few lines of the song is ‘Era sukher lagi chahe prem, prem mele na, sudhu sukh chole jai, amoni mayar cholona’. Ok people who don’t know the songs, the first song were about a king, who is very sad despite of having all the happiness possible and the next one is about love & happiness, searching one of them to achieve the other. If you ask me, I would say happiness is a biggest illusion, only your heart can decide your happiness or sadness. You can’t buy happiness or you can not beg for it. I think we all search for happiness or sometime we earn it or even snatch it. How happiness is a relative parameter will tell you now.

           From last week the north-east England has been turned to white. I never had seen such snow madness in the past 3yrs, continuing for more than a week in the month November. Like other yrs when it started, everyone around me was very happy. For some this is the first time in their life to see it, smell it, touch it, and feel it and for others, its time to play with snow. Seems like the unfinished game in snow will be completed this year! But for me it was the same old trouble knocking the door. I was really sad. Snow so early! I expected no snow this time, as it was really bad last year. The reasons of my unhappiness,                   

1. I can’t ride my bike now, so I have to walk: wastage of time.
2. My snow boot was leaking last year, now I have to buy a new one!
3. Snowing means, the outside temperature is around 1°C to –(6-10)°C, I have to turn on the house heater. How much I’m going to pay for electricity bill! And it is only November, more is expected.

           Even I agree when you walk during snowing, it feels like God’s blessing are showering on you and the beauty of the surrounding can not be explained in words. It feels like someone came with white paint and painted the trees, the houses, the roads, the hills. Latter the sunshine in the snow makes me to collect the glitter in the ground, for the time I forget I’m felling cold. But the truth remains the same, my leaking boot, slipping in the icy road and late arrival in the university reminds me the miseries. So the sadness and the happiness both are my illusion.

           Even I saw it from my childhood, human being is not happy with what they have. They can always see what others have more than them. But they never acknowledge what extra they have! When you achieve some of your desired happiness, you want more and then turned to unhappy again. So it is what we decide ‘Happy forever’ or ‘Sadness is my friend forever ’.

An unknown face behind the known mask

I can’t remember where I have heard this line ‘Mukh mukhosher arale se ek achena manush’, in English ‘A stranger hidden in the face mask’. I really liked this line and surprisingly I realized we all have a range of face mask which changes with time and place. Some people will name it as change of strategies with situation. I will start to analysis about this ‘face mask’ with examples among my relatives, neighbours and friends etc. The people seem to a lot known to us.

           My uncle, who always believed that, if you have a daughter, then you should start saving. You should provide a reasonable education to your daughter to catch a high-quality groom. When I entered to an engineering college, the first comment was, now you can have a NRI groom. I became red in anger and left the place. My idea was how you can say that after being a head teacher of a school! Then, when I got the admission for UK, he was the first one who brought me the suitcase to travel. Which one is the real man & which one is the mask is the confusing question now. A man can’t change his idea about a particular subject in 4yrs! Another uncle who seems to have a pride about me, that I am an engineer. Suddenly he gave a peculiar suggestion to my father, when the news was in the air that I’m leaving for UK soon. The suggestion was, why she can’t do a job and you should search for a groom, stop all these nonsense, a single girl going to UK! This time I was not surprised, as I have already got the idea of ‘mask’.

           I should tell another story related to one of my neighbour. When he came to the neighbourhood, we came to know that he was a very well known retired SP. Then one day there was a fraud in our house. So my mother just called him to verify the matter. He came and talked to the person & as he didn’t put any question mark to the matter, my mother just gave the money to that fraud person. Latter we find out he cheated us and he usually do it everywhere. My father just said to us, now I know which kind of SP he was. This incident left me with a big question, do we see the real man for the time or only the ‘face mask’ became familiar to us day by day. 

           In my friend circle I found that lot of people became important when they got a good marks in different exams. For some people, they start to fly in the sky when they got a good job; they thought that they can rule others. Some of them left their old friends as they don’t match to their friend’s category now. So their change in acts hurts a lot at the beginning, then I try to analysis, what is my mistake. Now I know that the person I knew before was a ‘face mask’, may be this is the real person, or it is another mask! Who knows…?

'LOVE' or 'LABH (gain)'

At first I should thank to all those persons, whose blog inspired me to write. I know my English is not good like them or rather I should say I prefer to write in Bengali. So the mistakes in this writing, my readers please forgive me as it is the first one.

           Now I should start with the topic, ‘LOVE’ or ‘LABH (gain)’. Actually it’s good to hear on Bengali, as ‘LABH’ is a Bengali word; the English translation would be ‘gain’. It’s a clash between the superficial meaning and the underlying meaning. Long time a go one of cousin sister, told me this, when we younger’s put a big question mark on her choice. It was an arrange marriage, but our bother-in-law was dark and short, but he had a good job (5-6 digit salary). My sister gave an angry look & told us, I saw his CV not him. I was so much surprised that I almost fell from the chair. This incident took place during my school life, so can’t remember the reaction of my other cousin sisters.

           Even in my collage life I found the same old story, the girl left the boy, as she got a better choice or I should say extra gain than the previous. Then I realise may be it can be explained in terms of security, the increase in security lead you to a better option. It is not only in case of girls, for boys they change girls where the variable parameter is beauty and quality. There is no guilt on this act, as they never try to remember the start point. You keep looking for the best as you have improved yourself, then where to stop! Anyway it’s their life, so no comments.   

           When I came to UK I thought the experience can be different, as the time and place is different. But life is full of surprises. I saw so many love stories over here, which was different than the previous. However, some recent incidents changed my all ideas. As if I was dreaming of true love, was in the fairy tale or a movie, now it’s time to face the truth. Saw some heart breaks among my friend circle or I should say end of one story. Why story! You will find soon. When I got these sad news (break up of the couples), I was mournful for some day and then I decided to meet them. So I was really scared that what I should say to the person. Then surprise & surprise, they are already seeing someone else. All of them replied me as, ‘should we all cry our entire life in this thought that someone is gone, anyway that story will finish someday, may be this way or other way’. Even I support their thought, but your love just left you a week ago! The truth again showed its colour, LOVE doesn’t exist anymore, its all illusion. If you get a better option, choose that, otherwise world will call you a loser.